i am awake. why am i awake? i am sick. i have an upper respiratory infection, or so they told me today. a bad cough that won't go away and overall not feeling good-ness. which is rather unsurprising, considering that i am sleeping about 5 hours a night...

i get so perturbed with the world when i am tired. its ridiculous. i can be entirely rational about it and attribute the bad energies i feel to my lack of sleep and it doesn't help at all. or does it? i guess it helps in that i know, or can at least retain the hope, that this will subside after i get some rest. i also hope the fire in my throat subsides.

im tired and a bit lonely. housemates are off skiing and he who keeps me company is at his house across town. damn it, i wish he were here and damn it, i wish i didn't wish it so much. i hate how im always wishing he were here.

well. now in trying to figure out what it is i hate about it so much, i've exhausted myself and i can finally, finally, finally go to sleep. i hope, i mean, really, really hope i have peaceful dreams. im worn out, and i really just want some nice dreams. nice dreams is a radiohead song. great band. good night.