so, so, so, so exhausted. you know how sometimes there is a word that you know, and you could pretty much rattle off the definiton and cite synonyms, but you haven't actually experienced it...like, um...well, i don't know, because the thing about these words is that you don't realize you don't understand them until you do. for me, exhaustion was one of these words a few weeks ago. and now it is no longer. i feel like i know it inside and out, i have experienced it to the very depth of my being...this is exhaustion.

i wish it would go away. it's like i just got hit by a train (something else i've never experienced) and there are still all these things to do that pretty much just have to get done. and its overwhelming, all of it. last night i was riding home on the subway after class (after work). i would have been relieved to be headed home if i could have mustered the energy to feel a feeling. but instead it occured to me that i was going to have to walk the six or so blocks home once i got off the subway, and i just wanted to cry.

over walking six blocks! i am a five time marathon runner who just pledged to herself to do a 50 mile race in the next five years.

something is wrong.