it's been a while.

it's late and i should go to bed.

but i wish i could figure out how to put into words the way i feel about myself and my relationships to the people around me right now. i feel so separate, solitary and strong as an individual, but not in the eerie way i used to. i used to fight this separateness so hard. i thought it was the obstacle barring me from the perfect connections i would otherwise have...

im too tired to fully describe it. but the point is, the separateness no longer looms as a chasm between me and my soulmate of the day. the way i once saw it seems so laughable to me now.

i am me and nobody else, and everybody else is somebody else and not me. and i think its wonderful. i know some really incredible elses and i really love some of them. and somehow it is the separateness that makes me able to do this. i feel more solitary and independent than ever before and more fully aware of and in love with people around me than ever before.

it seems so natural.